been a while/annoying friends

Wow it’s been a long ass time since I posted on here. I didn’t mean to leave you guys hanging, but school and life got in the way big time. School — that’s self-explanatory. Life — I’ve been dealing with a lot of family drama (it got really bad during the holiday season) and it’s the kind of stuff that weighs on you constantly. I actually don’t want to think about it right now, so I’m going to change the subject. Thanks to all the people who read this thing (didn’t know I had so many visitors).

Looking over the few posts I’ve done, I realized that I’ve held back a little. I’ve been too concerned with what people might think of my thoughts and actions, so I’ve sugar-coated, cleaned-up and even omitted things. I’ve decided that I’m not going to do that anymore. This blog is primarily for me; it’s a form if therapy if you will. As I said before, I appreciate those of you who read this blog, but I have to be true to myself. That means you get to see the good, the bad and the ugly. And trust me, there’s plenty of each.

That said, I was pretty excited about my approaching Spring Break, until a few minutes ago. Basically, I found out via Facebook that a friend of mine is going to be out of town on business, thus destroying the Spring Break plans we had made. I’m bummed about it because it was going to be a lot of fun, but I’ll get over it. What’s really irking me is the fact that she still hasn’t called me to say that the whole thing is off. I already called her 2 weeks ago to get the scoop and she told me she would get back to me last week with finalized details. Of course, her ass has not called me and I will not be surprised if I don’t hear from her at all. I just wish I had discovered that she was going out of town sooner, so I would have had time to make alternate plans. Man that’s one thing that some of my friends do that I hate. If you know you can’t follow through, have the courtesy to let a brotha know. Don’t leave my ass hanging thinking that Spring Break is gonna be on point when all I really have to look forward to is chaperoning my little brother’s birthday party. Happy Spring Break!!!

~moody605

Yes We Can….Yes We Did

What’s up people?

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. I’ve been here several times and even logged in, but haven’t found the time to post. Yes, I’ve been extremely busy with school and work, but I could have still made posts. I guess I’ve just been feeling lazy and uninspired. No worries, today is a new day and I’m definitely going to make an effort to post regularly. I need a way to vent my thoughts and I’m sure you guys just love reading the salacious details of my life.

Switching gears, you’ve no doubt heard that last night, Tuesday, November 4th, 2008, the United States of America elected its first African-American president, Barack Hussein Obama II. I was watching the CNN election coverage last night and, I’ll be honest, I was very nervous. I was so afraid that Barack wouldn’t be elected because of others’ bigotry that my hands were shaking. When CNN announced that Barack had won Ohio, I shrieked (I am usually very cool, calm and collected). And when CNN projected that Obama would become our 44th president, I almost cried. Such a momentous, emotional, poignant and important moment in history for all of us.

Of course, this means that this country is going to take a new, wonderful direction. The road is going to be very difficult, but I believe that Barack Obama has the chops to get the job done. That’s why I’ve been a supporter since February of 2007, that’s why I donated money to his campaign and that’s why I waited in a long-ass line to vote for him. After 8 years under the terrible Bush administration, he is just what the doctor ordered.This election has great personal meaning for me as well.  Seeing him step into the highest office in the land has reminded me that I can do any fucking thing that I put my mind to. It’s that simple. No more fear or self-doubt. Just 3 simple words. Yes I can. Barack, thank you and godspeed.

Bitchassness

Diddy was right….bitchassness is an epidemic in the black community. It seems like more and more young black men are going the way of the bitchass. I don’t know how this epidemic got started, but I hope that one day this disease can be completely eradicated from our population. That may be tricky though, because it has many manifestations. Here are just some of them:

1. You have a problem wit somebody — beef with your roommate, a friend said something that pissed you off, etc. — and instead of going directly to that person and handling your beef, you go around talkin’ shit behind the person’s back like a little gossip girl. You NEVER bring up the problem with the person and you even have the audacity to ask them for favors after trashing them behind their back. BITCHASS.

2. Someone you know gets a  new boyfriend. You should be happy for them, but you’re jealous. (Never mind the fact that you get tons of attention from dudes and are juggling about 5 of them at the present moment. I guess guys are only allowed to holla at you.) Anyway, instead of handling your unwarranted jealousy in a healthy manner, you go the way of the bitchass. You get all competitive and try to find you a new dick to add to your collection. But you get caught fucking your new jumpoff and end up losing all your other jumpoffs in the process. BITCHASS and DUMBASS.

3. You borrow a very large sum of money from someone, claiming you’re in an emergency (it later comes out that you used the money to go see a guy that dropped your ass in less than a week). You swear to pay it back promptly, but you never do. However, you continue to floss, jet set and buy expensive, extravagant shit. You get a polite request to repay the money and grudgingly return only 10% of the original sum, leaving the rest of loan unpaid indefinitely. BITCHASS.

Like I said, these are just a few of many manifestations of the bitchassness virus. Readers, what forms of bitchassness have you observed in your daily lives? Please, go to the comment section and discuss.

Time Capsule

It’s been a minute since I first started talking to other dudes. It’s been an……interesting journey, but I’ve learned a lot along the way. There have been a lot of ups and a lot of downs, but I’m definitely much wiser than I was before. I sometimes wish I could take all of my knowledge and experiences, put them in a time capsule and send them back in time a few years tothe moody605 that had never been with another dude. Too bad I can’t do that. However, if I could, here are some bits advice I would send back:

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
With black gay men, if they’re acting like they’re not interested in a second date, it’s because they really aren’t interested in a second date. If they seem like they’re cheating, there’s a good chance they actually are. Learn to recognize the warning signs early on. Of course, you don’t want to be too paranoid and read too much meaning into someone’s actions. Nonetheless, if you see smoke, then prepare for a possible fire and take the necessary steps to avoid getting burned. cheating.

Personality is what counts, but most won’t see that.
You may be an incredible person, but if you’re short, fat, dark-skinned, a bad dresser, effeminate, over 35 or in any other way “undesirable,” you’re at a disadvantage. Men respond to good looks and black gay men are no exception. You might get passed over because of some physical imperfection, even if you’re intelligent, kind and successful. It may hurt, but remember that the ones who are obsessed with the physical and the material are probably not worth your time.

Keep the 3rd parties out of your relationship.
It’s nice to have someone to confide in about your relationship woes, but be wary of their “advice”. Are they telling you to do or say something they wouldn’t even do themselves? Have they had a history of failed relationships that would discredit their advice? Could they possibly be envious of your relationship? Ask yourself these questions and take any advice (especially if it’s unsolicited) with a grain of salt.

Pace yourself.
When you meet someone that you’re really attracted to, it’s tempting to get caught up and move at 200 mph. It’s also quite dangerous. You’ve got to allow time for a person’s true intentions to show, otherwise you run the risk of getting deeply hurt. Ol’ Tyrone might seem really sexy, successful, funny and trustworthy. That might be the real him and that might not be. There’s no way to be 100% sure, but you can give yourself a fighting chance by getting to know him well before you decide to take any huge leaps.

Move on.
Don’t sit licking your wounds. Keep moving. If you get stood up, don’t let it ruin your night. Just make new plans. If you’re significant other plays you like a saxophone, let him go and focus on bettering yourself. If your friend cuts you off for no reason, don’t sit and mourn the loss excessively. Go out and meet people to remind yourself you got a lot to offer. Now I’m not saying your heart should be ice-cold, but don’t waste any unnecessary emotion on someone who isn’t worthy of your love. Keep your head up and look to the future.

Always use condoms (correctly) no matter what.
HIV is out of control among black gay men. Some sources have indicated that incidence rates are as high as 48% among blackmen who have sex with men. Some guys have it and don’t know it. Other guys have it, know it, but choose not to mention it. There is a tremendous stigma associated with HIV and that stigma has led to a fear, ignorance and secrecy. Because of all of this, always use condoms when having sex with someone of unknown status. Don’t take someone’s word for it. Ever. It could cost you your life.

~moody605