The principles of lust… Are easy to understand
Do what you feel… Feel until the end
The principles of lust… Are burnt in your mind
Do what you want… Do it until you find Love…
“The Principles of Lust” by Enigma
Once upon a time, or actually a few years ago, I really wanted to fall in love. I told myself that I was going to wait patiently for The One. While I waited for The One, I would keep myself in pristine sexual condition. Totally unspoiled and untouched. This way, when The One finally rose out of the sea covered in sea foam and stars and shit, he would be able to enjoy a new and unused me. Well…. fuck that shit. At this point in my life, I’ve realized that The One being a no-show is largely a structural issue, an inherent problem with the gay hiearchy (this shit is not a community). I’ve accepted the reality that I may never find real, lasting love and there’s not shit that I can do about it. I’m fine with that, but I’m not going to sit down like some kind of fucking celibate priest and twiddle my thumbs. I’m going to have sex while my shit still functions.
Now there are plenty of people that would judge me and call me some kind of whore blah blah BLAH. I tried being a good boy and all I got out of it was blue balls. I’m not saying that I’m going to rush out and start having dudes nut in my ass raw; I’m just saying that I intend to fully and responsibly enjoy my sexuality. I’ve abandoned the idealistic notion of saving myself sexually for someone who may never come.
So, that means that the sexy Caribbean dude with the 10.5 that wants to fuck next week will probably get it. Judge me if you dare. Might have a sex with a hot-bodied dude that I’m currently talking to. My new attitude also means if the urge strikes me, I’ll probably start fucking Chris again. And who knows? In the process of enjoying myself, I just might beat the odds and meet someone with whom I could fall in love. Maybe I’ll meet him at a sex party. Or a bathhouse. Or online. Or maybe not. Oh well, fuck it.
If you’re sleeping around for recreation, go H.A.M.! But if you do it with the idea in my that perhaps one of these situations will turn into a healthy, positive relationship with a solid foundation… well… I feel that’s wishful thinking. The point of no strings attached sex is to maintain a level of unavailability that prevents you from expecting more then ‘your place at 11 okay with you?’
You’re right, it is a bit of wishful thinking on my part, as the odds are astronomical. But do you really think that a NSA situation can never evolve into something more?
Never? No. Nothing is impossible. But the probability is really low in my opinion. These are men who, when thinking of you, place you in the ‘jump off’ category and your only role is to make sure their short term needs are met. To believe that putting yourself in a situation where the whole point is to NOT develop any feelings in hopes that one day it will… is well… kinda crazy.
I agree, it’s totally crazy. It’s within the realm of possibility, but the odds are so vanishingly small that it’s pointless. Yet, some individuals manage to still get caught up in it and delude themselves into thinking that situation is actually a relationship. I can think of less time-consuming ways to torture oneself.