The Moody One

thoughts of a young, black man living in the closet

Archive for April, 2009

Speaking of rejection….

Posted by moody605 on April 26, 2009

I was on that delicious treasure trove known as bgclive today and I rejected someone and then was rejected by someone else all in a matter of minutes!  The first dude I rejected was an overeager 19 year-old that kept bombarding me with messages. That was a turn-off. He also had ass pics as his main pictures. Not necessarily a bad thing, unless your ass is flabby and unattractive, like his was. And I have to digress and say that people, if your body is unappealing (you know who you are), don’t show it off. It looks silly when you’re wearing a thong with mounds of fat hanging off. I have nothing against fat people, but I believe that everyone should dress (or undress) according to their body. Having a less-than-stellar body is not a crime, but flaunting that crap is!

Back to the 19 year-old from bgc….like I said, I wasn’t really feeling him, but I didn’t want to be an asshole so I answered all his excessive messages. Then he wanted to see my pics. See, all my pics on that wonderful fountain of quality are private pictures, and I’m kinda selective about who I show them to. If you ask to see my pics, you gotta have yours open, or I won’t show them to you. If you come across as clingy, messy or stalkerish, then I definitely won’t show them to you. I told him that if he wanted to see mine, he should unlock his first. It’s only fair. He did, and I wasn’t feeling him. Not that he looked that terrible, but he didn’t look good enough to mitigate the fact that he was too young and clingy for me. So opening my pics was out of the question. So I told him point blank that I wasn’t interested. He wanted to know why. I told him that I didn’t find him attractive. He wanted to go back and forth and just as I was about to block him, he took his leave.

What happened next was karma working. I saw this nice-looking guy online. I noticed that he had a 100 page essay in his profile. I should have already known this wasn’t gonna go anywhere; from my experience, dudes with novels for profiles are full of crap. But I read that garbage anyway and decided to hit up his long-winded ass. We exchanged a few messages and then he wanted to see my pics. His precise words were “Blah blah blah so unlock pic guy,” which I found to be incredibly corny for some reason. Any, I unlocked my shit and he responded that he thought I was cute. Obviously not cute enough though, because after a few messages, he stopped responding.  I could see that he had opened my last message, which contained a question, but there was no answer. I sent another message to try and jumpstart the convo, but still got nothing, so I’m considering it a rejection.

Then I got hit up by another late 30’s dude that I had met a few weeks ago. When he first hit me up a few weeks ago, he professed his desire for friends and meaningful relationship and blah blah BLAH. I said I was interested in the same, and after some chatting I decided, stupidly, to meet him at his place. I got there and we made some small talk. Everything was ok until he started saying he wanted to fuck me bareback. Wow, what an awesome deal! Having bareback sex with a total stranger! I mean, it’s not like HIV is really that common among black gay men anyway! And even if he has HIV, it’s not like I’ll get it because he swore he wouldn’t come in me! I was totally disgusted and started to leave. He starts begging me to stay and pr Fast-forward a few weeks to today. Just after I got rejected by E.Lynn Harris 2, this guy hit me up again talkin’ all that friendship crap again. Then he asked to see my pics, so I concluded that he had forgotten he’d already hit me up or maybe was hoping that I had forgotten. In any case, I just flat out ignored him.

So as you can see I’m 0 for 3. Those stats can only lead me to one conclusion. I LOVE BGC!!!

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Rejection

Posted by moody605 on April 23, 2009

A few years ago, I experienced my first rejection with a guy. I won’t go into the gory details, but let’s just say I was down for a few days (I even lost sleep because of it). It was a very disappointing experience and it’s not something I like to think about too much. The actual rejection itself was difficult to handle, but I don’t like thinking about the things that it led me to do. It sucked, but I’ve grown a lot stronger as a person in the last 3 years. Thinking back on it now, though it still stings a little, it’s hard to believe that I let some punk ass dude make me feel that way. Since then, I’ve developed a much better perspective on rejection and how to handle it.

Don’t get me wrong, I still hate rejection. But I’ve become pretty good at dealing with it. Nowadays, I don’t miss a beat when things don’t work out with a guy. I’ve also realized that a vast majority of the romantic let-downs I’ve experienced involved guys that were garbage anyway. And I’m not sour-graping it; they really weren’t worth thinking about. I was just caught up chasing them and got disappointed when the chase proved unsuccessful. I could have been chasing a John McCain look-alike, and been bummed if he somehow rejected me.

As I said before, things are way different these days. Over the past 2 months, I’ve been “talking” to this guy I met at a party. Things haven’t been working out (he doesn’t seem very interested), but the me from 3 years ago would have been hella depressed about the situation. The me of today was bummed for 3 nanoseconds, then kept it moving. In addition, I realized that I wasn’t really that into the guy to begin with. His body is real nice, his face is ok, but he has mush for brains. I feel like I’m carrying on a conversation with an 16 year-0ld wannabe playboy thug. Which wouldn’t be that bad if he wasn’t 30. So it’s cool if he’s not interested in me, because I’m not all that into him either. And as the commandment says, ”Thou shalt move on to the  next!”

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Christian the Lion

Posted by moody605 on April 20, 2009

A friend of mine showed me this clip and youtube and I think it was really amazing. It definitely tugs at your heart strings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjWtRYaxmWM

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