Messin’ with a porn star

Soooo….I was handling my business the other day and I was utilizing some porn to help me get things done. I was just browsing various sites and I happened to come across one pic of these dudes having a threesome. There were two top dudes and one bottom dude. In the pic, bottom dude was getting smashed and had the most ridiculous look on his face. It actually turned me off. As I’m reaching to hit the back button I go……….waaaaait a MINUTE. I know this ridiculous-looking bottom. I looked carefully at his face to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks and I was like…yep. That’s him. I quickly log on to bgc and double check his profile. Yep. That is him.

This guy, who we’ll call Bottom Boy, was a dude I met from bgc about a year and a half ago. His profile was kinda ridiculous-looking because he had something to the effect of ‘I piss liquid gold, shit honey out my ass and flowers spring up on the ground wherever I walk.’ Totally conceited. And what’s worse, he didn’t really have the goods to back it up. His face was aight and his body was aight, but he had it oiled up like some kinda stripper or model. Even what he had on in the pics was ridiculous looking. The profile screamed “I’m too sexy for myself.” I’m surprised he didn’t have that as one of his videos. And you know what’s even more ridiculous? I decided to hit him up.

Cutting to the chase, I was on my way to Bottom Boy’s crib. Looking back, I think I was just horny and kinda curious to see what this dude was like in person. Anyway, I get to his crib and he let’s me in, but says he has to jump in the shower right quick. He comes out, takes his towel off and gets in the bed. Again, his body was pretty tight (not tight enough to justify the bullshit in his profile) but it wasn’t bad. I was definitely into it and started sucking his nipples. He must have really had sensitive nipples because he started moaning screaming in pleasure. In my head I was like WTF, but I just keep going. He screams again and this time I catch a whiff of his breath. This dude’s breath smelled like the morning breath of someone who had not brushed his teeth in weeks, had been gargling toilet water, and had just finished eating someone’s ass. It reeked. I’m usually really irritated by bad breath (if you’re gonna meet someone, HANDLE YOUR BREATH), but this time it was kinda funny because his terrible breath contrasted sharply with his wannabe-pretty-boy image. He seemed to be getting sleepy (it was like 4 in the morning) and I was over it, so I suggested that we continue another time and took my leave.

Seeing Bottom Boy on that porn site was kinda surprising but kinda not. It was surprising because he certainly didn’t mention that he was a porn star, but it wasn’t because he was very vain and probably thought he looked good enough to be in adult films. Have any of you ever messed with a porn star? Would you, if you have had the opportunity?

Bitchassness

Diddy was right….bitchassness is an epidemic in the black community. It seems like more and more young black men are going the way of the bitchass. I don’t know how this epidemic got started, but I hope that one day this disease can be completely eradicated from our population. That may be tricky though, because it has many manifestations. Here are just some of them:

1. You have a problem wit somebody — beef with your roommate, a friend said something that pissed you off, etc. — and instead of going directly to that person and handling your beef, you go around talkin’ shit behind the person’s back like a little gossip girl. You NEVER bring up the problem with the person and you even have the audacity to ask them for favors after trashing them behind their back. BITCHASS.

2. Someone you know gets a  new boyfriend. You should be happy for them, but you’re jealous. (Never mind the fact that you get tons of attention from dudes and are juggling about 5 of them at the present moment. I guess guys are only allowed to holla at you.) Anyway, instead of handling your unwarranted jealousy in a healthy manner, you go the way of the bitchass. You get all competitive and try to find you a new dick to add to your collection. But you get caught fucking your new jumpoff and end up losing all your other jumpoffs in the process. BITCHASS and DUMBASS.

3. You borrow a very large sum of money from someone, claiming you’re in an emergency (it later comes out that you used the money to go see a guy that dropped your ass in less than a week). You swear to pay it back promptly, but you never do. However, you continue to floss, jet set and buy expensive, extravagant shit. You get a polite request to repay the money and grudgingly return only 10% of the original sum, leaving the rest of loan unpaid indefinitely. BITCHASS.

Like I said, these are just a few of many manifestations of the bitchassness virus. Readers, what forms of bitchassness have you observed in your daily lives? Please, go to the comment section and discuss.

Time Capsule

It’s been a minute since I first started talking to other dudes. It’s been an……interesting journey, but I’ve learned a lot along the way. There have been a lot of ups and a lot of downs, but I’m definitely much wiser than I was before. I sometimes wish I could take all of my knowledge and experiences, put them in a time capsule and send them back in time a few years tothe moody605 that had never been with another dude. Too bad I can’t do that. However, if I could, here are some bits advice I would send back:

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
With black gay men, if they’re acting like they’re not interested in a second date, it’s because they really aren’t interested in a second date. If they seem like they’re cheating, there’s a good chance they actually are. Learn to recognize the warning signs early on. Of course, you don’t want to be too paranoid and read too much meaning into someone’s actions. Nonetheless, if you see smoke, then prepare for a possible fire and take the necessary steps to avoid getting burned. cheating.

Personality is what counts, but most won’t see that.
You may be an incredible person, but if you’re short, fat, dark-skinned, a bad dresser, effeminate, over 35 or in any other way “undesirable,” you’re at a disadvantage. Men respond to good looks and black gay men are no exception. You might get passed over because of some physical imperfection, even if you’re intelligent, kind and successful. It may hurt, but remember that the ones who are obsessed with the physical and the material are probably not worth your time.

Keep the 3rd parties out of your relationship.
It’s nice to have someone to confide in about your relationship woes, but be wary of their “advice”. Are they telling you to do or say something they wouldn’t even do themselves? Have they had a history of failed relationships that would discredit their advice? Could they possibly be envious of your relationship? Ask yourself these questions and take any advice (especially if it’s unsolicited) with a grain of salt.

Pace yourself.
When you meet someone that you’re really attracted to, it’s tempting to get caught up and move at 200 mph. It’s also quite dangerous. You’ve got to allow time for a person’s true intentions to show, otherwise you run the risk of getting deeply hurt. Ol’ Tyrone might seem really sexy, successful, funny and trustworthy. That might be the real him and that might not be. There’s no way to be 100% sure, but you can give yourself a fighting chance by getting to know him well before you decide to take any huge leaps.

Move on.
Don’t sit licking your wounds. Keep moving. If you get stood up, don’t let it ruin your night. Just make new plans. If you’re significant other plays you like a saxophone, let him go and focus on bettering yourself. If your friend cuts you off for no reason, don’t sit and mourn the loss excessively. Go out and meet people to remind yourself you got a lot to offer. Now I’m not saying your heart should be ice-cold, but don’t waste any unnecessary emotion on someone who isn’t worthy of your love. Keep your head up and look to the future.

Always use condoms (correctly) no matter what.
HIV is out of control among black gay men. Some sources have indicated that incidence rates are as high as 48% among blackmen who have sex with men. Some guys have it and don’t know it. Other guys have it, know it, but choose not to mention it. There is a tremendous stigma associated with HIV and that stigma has led to a fear, ignorance and secrecy. Because of all of this, always use condoms when having sex with someone of unknown status. Don’t take someone’s word for it. Ever. It could cost you your life.

~moody605